Another election will soon be upon us and, as usual, the prospects don’t look promising. Donald Trump and Jeb Bush are running for president. Our token democrat Hillary Clinton, frosted blonde love child of conservative oil and pseudo-liberals, seems equally bleak. What if it is Clinton vs. Bush again? Will American society finally implode on itself? You’d hope so, considering the fact that literally nothing else could make it apparent that our political system is the most absurd spectacle in the western world. Two equally formidable dynasties battling it out for the presidency like two of those plastic guys in Knock Out. Yes, things in America are very bleak.

Our college students are swimming in insurmountable debt. Public education for our children has America ranked shamefully low in the western world. We have allowed those in power to destroy our public lands and remain in Congress while still denying climate change. The middle class is disappearing, with families working for slave wages. Even Michael Moore has given up on making movies. Our infrastructure is rotting before our eyes. We are one of the ONLY industrialized nations in the ENTIRE WORLD to deny free healthcare for every citizen. Why? Because the rich want more money and when the masses are kept sick and hungry, they will not speak out. Who are we kidding? This country has gone to hell in a handbasket.

George Orwell wrote in the brilliant yet cliché 1984 that “if there is hope, it is with the proles” (prole is a derogatory term for proletariat/workers). I interpret that soundbite as meaning the masses are so many more than those in power, that their combined unrest is capable of overthrowing an entire oligarchical society. In America, hope lies in the middle class overcoming mass apathy, i.e. voting. It’s pretty obvious who I’m suggesting you vote for even without looking at the title: Bernie Sanders. Before you toss your free magazine in the trash or just stop reading, let’s just consider some facts.



First of all, Bernie is an Independent senator from Vermont running under the Democrat ticket for presidency. He is the longest serving independent member of congress at 16 years of service. He has fought tirelessly for Veterans Affairs, introducing legislation improving basic medical and dental care while also addressing the disability claims backlog in an effort for our veterans to find decent jobs. He is a self-described socialist (a word created to horrify illiterate people) who also defends gun rights. He aims for free college education and a $15 an hour minimum wage. He is 73 years old and he has nothing to lose.

Bernie does not take any donations whatsoever from Superpacs, and has lobbied for dramatic transparency in regards to what government officials, the billionaires, are lobbying for. His top contributions came in small donations of $50,000 or so from labor unions, while Hillary’s came in millions from banks and Big Oil. Bernie has also received more than one million dollars from public donations. Meanwhile the Republican Party is such a disaster that I won’t even bother commenting on them anymore.

Sanders’ beginnings in politics lie in grassroots movements and class struggle. He is possibly the most transparent candidate America has ever seen. His popularity is surging dramatically. He does not rely on fallacious statements to tear down his monkey opponents, nor does he rely on the wealthy who keep said monkeys in power. He is relying on the American voter to carry his vision forward. The middle class has more power than we think.

If Bernie is to succeed it is most important that the youth of this country vote. Statistics from the 2012 election are abysmal, with less than 25% of people under 21 years of age voted. I sure as hell never voted in the last election, there was no point. This time, it is of the utmost importance that we all vote. It would scare the living bats out of the powers that be. I don’t want my nonexistent children to grow up in a country destroyed by greed, I wouldn’t wish that upon any of my peers. The government should fear us, things would be much more pleasant.

I shall end on a rather heartwarming story my 87 year old grandpa told me when I visited him last in Kalispell: Sometime in the 40s when he was about eight years old, he was walking to the corner shop to buy something for his mother. He noticed that people were sobbing in the street, and it was the only time he had ever seen men cry. He thought there must have been a horrible accident. My grandpa (also named Bernie) asked what was going on and a woman replied, “FDR has died.”

According to my century-old grandfather, Franklin Delano Roosevelt was the only president who cared about the people. My grandpa is not a bleeding-heart communist, either. He has been a member of the NRA since the dark ages, and has a formidable rifle collection. He would die for gun rights, a trait usually reserved for stereotyping Republicans. He lived through the Great Depression, and saw the legacy of a president who helped the people out of it. He was proud to be an American, and so were the people he grew up with.

I want to live in a country where every citizen has the right to decent income, healthcare, and education. We are not living in North Korea. These are basic human rights. It is time for the United States to catch up with the rest of the world, leading by example, or continue its rapid descent into feudalism. If we do not speak for ourselves and demand a better life, the wealthy will speak for us. There is a great man who remains vigilant in the fight for the middle class. It is up to US to get Bernie Sanders into office, or we will suffer the consequences. I guess all I can say is that if we do succeed, America will kick arse once more.