5 Tips to Safely Meet Someone Online

The world of online dating is the primary way people meet each other these days. Online dating has its benefits, including the chance to meet people you wouldn’t otherwise come across in your daily life. At the same time, when you date someone you meet online, safety has to be a top priority. From looking up someone’s basic information online to verify they are who they say they are to doing a full background check, there are certain things you can do to improve your safety. The following are five things to do before you meet someone from an app or website. 

1. Talk On the Phone

If you’re thinking about meeting someone in person who you’ve come across on a dating site or app, one of the first things you should do is talk to them on the phone. If you haven’t already, make sure you do it before meeting in person. There are reasons this is important. First, you want to make sure that the person sounds the way you would expect and that the things they tell you on the phone match what they’ve shared in messages with you. You’ll get more of a feel for their personality, you’ll have a better idea of whether you’re being catfished, and you can make sure that you still mesh well when you’re talking compared to how you got along in your messages. The faster you can take things offline, the better. It’s not a good idea to put a lot of time and effort into any relationship where the person seems reluctant to take things offline. This is a big red flag unless there’s a major logistical reason you can’t talk on the phone and meet in person somewhat quickly. It’s much easier to assess whether you actually see someone as a potential partner when you meet in person. 

2. Confirm Claims

When someone tells you things about themselves online, you have options for confirming those details. For example, you want to make sure the person you’re talking to actually exists. You can do a check of their name, and you can also do a quick background search. You can check for criminal records, and you can also look at places like LinkedIn, if they have one, to ensure things line up. If someone tells you they’re a successful doctor and you can’t find a digital footprint to verify this, chances are there’s an issue that you need to look into further before meeting in person. 

3. FaceTime or Ask for a Picture

The person you’ve been talking to online has likely already sent you pictures of themselves, or you’ve seen them on your dating profile, but it’s easy to steal images from elsewhere and pass them off as your own. You can check out the pictures they’ve sent you so far with a reverse image search. It’s also a great idea to do at least one FaceTime or video call before meeting in person to again, make sure you aren’t getting catfished. You can also ask them to take a picture where they’re doing something that would be very hard to replicate, like holding up a sign with the date. 

4. Meet in a Public Place Where You Feel Comfortable

When you meet someone for the first time, you always want to meet in public. Never have your first meeting be at either of your houses or anywhere that’s not completely public. It can also be a good idea to suggest somewhere that’s your “turf,” like your favorite neighborhood coffee shop. You want to choose a place, if possible, that you’ve been to before, so you feel comfortable and know your way around. When you know seemingly little things like what you want to order from the menu or where the bathroom is, not only will you feel safer and more comfortable, but it can help the meeting go better. Speaking of meeting at your favorite neighborhood coffee shop, a first meeting that’s casual is best. If you go for a dinner date as your first meeting, you run the risk of having to spend more time with someone than you end up wanting to. You want a date that, if you feel like you need to, is easy to get out of. 

5. Tell Someone Where You’ll Be

Finally, you want to make sure you let at least one family member or friend know where you’re going to be and who you’re meeting. You should also let them know when you get home because, at the end of the day, no matter how common online dating is these days, you’re still meeting a stranger for the first time.